Random Things That Shouldn’t Piss People Off…But Do…

19 Aug

I think my blog needs a more constant “______ of the week” thing to keep everyone interested, so this week’s Random Things That Shouldn’t Piss People Off…But Do…

“UUUGGGHHH LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!%!$!#!”

They’re not? Here are my reasons why I think that it is perfectly fine to don leggings “in disguise”, if you will, as pantalones:

  • You can’t see my legs, butt or vagina, as they are covered. You may, however, be able to see the outline of my underwear, depending on if I woke up a little buzzed; Although with this happening, the last thing I’m worried about is my underpants showing through my leggings…The real chances are that there’s gum in my hair that is probably tied up with a scrunchie, and I forgot to wear a bra.
  • What qualifications exactly, classify as “pantsless”. Is there a dichotomous key to follow? I don’t think I’ve done that since 7th grade with Ms. Salvagni, our rumored porn-star turned science teacher…Wait your school had one of those too…? (cough, urban legend, excuse me).
  • the difference between my denim skinny jeans and leggings: a button, zipper, pockets and material. Other than that, Apples to Apples, people.
While I am an advocate of wearing leggings to class, work, theme parks, haunted houses, the store, wherever…I will admit there are a few rules to wearing the leggings…And I think that they would be the most clear in the form of a slideshow depicting those who should mayybe swap the leggings for some hammer pants, and when you should go ahead and let ‘yo freak flag fly with those spandex angel pants…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Overall, everyone needs to chill out about the whole leggings issue. We’re in a recession, people are hungry, and the world is ending in 2012. Who knows, though…maybe Superman will pull through in his cray cray blue leggings…Who wears the pants now, legging haters?

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